Four and a half years ago I purchased these bottles of Kahlua and Irish Creme. We had just lost Emily and I figured if ever there was a time to drink, I figured then would be the time.
Well I didn’t. I decend from at least 2 alcholics. My father and late grandfather (not the one that died shortly after Max was born) were both alcoholics. So I guess you could say that I was afraid to have a drink. Honestly I can say that I have had NO drinks (other then communion) since I have been married to Tony.
I could have also got into these bottles when I had cancer. Trust me it did cross my mind.
Tony found out today that the company in San Diego is going to wait till the end of August to make their decision. The company in Indiana we don’t know what is going on with it. Tony does have another interview in a couple of weeks though with a different company.
So today was the day that I couldn’t talk myself out of taking a drink. I told Tony I was going to break it out and he went into the other room. He was shocked when he got back to the kitchen to see I had taken them out. I decided to just pour a bit into a glass and then add light cream. Then I was planning on adding chocolate syrup. Well we didn’t have any so I added butterscotch ice cream topping. It wasn’t bad. Tony even tried a bit and said it was good. I personally didn’t like the alcohol taste but I figured that was sort of the point. Ha ha! So down it went.
I see why people drink. It does take the edge off of things. I was less tense and that was good. However now I am more tired then normal and that isn’t good.
I know God has a plan for us but I wish He would share it a bit with us. I did apply to 2 jobs for myself today, but since I haven’t worked since 2004 really, it makes it so I don’t think I am very marketable. Nor have I had any supervisors since then so I fail to see how it would even be relevant at this point.
That is it for now. We are going to try to relax this weekend.
Jennifer
Hang in there you guys! God knows His plan for you, even when you don’t. It’s hard, I’ve never been directly in your shoes, of course, but I can understand your frustration with wanting to know what the future will hold. It will come. All in His time. Hang tight.
Jill
So sorry an offer has not come thru for Tony. Keeping your family in my prayers and hoping an offer comes thru soon. Hugs.
Susan
I am so sorry to hear this job news. I hadn’t checked your blog all weekend and came here this morning excited to hear where Tony had received an offer from. I will continue to lift you all in prayer that God will provide for your family and that He will bring the perfect job for Tony SOON.
You are a very strong person to know where to draw the line and recognize the slippery slopes. Be proud of yourself for everything that you have made it through. I believe that nice drink is exactly what was needed at this point. Keep praying and focusing on good news and it will come.