I saw this today at the farm. Today may be our last day to get items from the farm as we are starting to have our first frost. We will still get the stuff that isn’t pick your own.
I feel it is time to share some of what else has been happening here lately. After the big shock of finding out I lost an embryo to the thaw last time, I had been praying as to where we should go from here if the next transfer isn’t successful. I have considered everything. From embryo and egg donation/adoption, to domestic adoption, to international adoption, to foster care to adoption. None of these options are easy, and they all cost money. About a week after I heard the news from my doctor, I had an Ah-ha moment. To me this was very spiritual moment and the kind that makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. I am feeling called to adopt a deaf child. The feeling that I got when I got this feeling was so strong that I told Tony that even if we have Baby E, I still think we should go forward with this.
Since that time I have been researching and researching what is involved in adopting a deaf child. With my cancer diagnosis my options are not really good. It seems that once you get diagnosed with cancer, the world thinks you have at least one foot in the ground. I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon, but when I talked to my oncologist yesterday, I did ask her when I would have a “normal life expectancy”. She told me 5 years out. That is what I figured but I needed to know it from her. So I have to wait till 2015. That is okay though because that gives us time to save for said adoption. With any luck Baby E will be born and that will give us a bit of joy while we wait.
On my father’s encouragement I have contacted an agency that he worked with to get my older adopted sister. My father was on the board of this agency for a while as well. They have told me that I should be able to find a deaf child on what they call the “special focus” list. These children are either older, have special needs that people don’t think they can deal with and are on the waiting child list for over 2 months, or are boys. Yes you can adopt boys from China! I can only adopt from this list because of my cancer diagnosis in my past and I would have to get a waver to even do that (hence the letter from the doctor). I have looked a bit at this list from a yahoo group that I joined for people considering adopting a deaf child from China, and there seems to be at least one on the list that would fit in our family right now. A little boy who is a bit older then Max but seems to be much like him. However we will have to wait for said letter from my doctor before we really start looking.
I am also looking at how our life would change with the addition of a deaf child. Obviously we would have to learn sign language (I know a bit from high school and in the coarse of thinking about this, signs are coming back to me everyday) and I would want to be as fluent as possible before getting said child. And that means Max and Tony as well. Max is curious about sign language and I am starting to sign to him a bit of sign english here and there as signs come back to me. There are also other considerations like the child attending a school outside the home for at least part of the day. There is a deaf school not far from us though. So that is good. My whole thought for this is to find a child that I could give a better life to. Adoption to me should be all about that. I am not wanting a child who would be as sick as Emily was or anything like that. I feel I have had enough sadness in my life the last 7 years, that I don’t think I could handle more. I am in awe over the people that can do that. I am basically looking for a child who happens to be deaf but is otherwise healthy.
There is a lot to think about with all of this and honestly that is about where it is, the think about this stage. Tony is on board with adopting a deaf child though.
Oh and I found out yesterday that I can get the immunizations needed to go to China as well. I guess Chicken Pox is the only vaccine I can’t get. So that is good.
There is my update. I will let you know if anything changes.