Limbo land…

Well it has taken me this long to find out not much. My doctor called me on Sunday and told me that my uterine arteries looked good, but he was concerned about my uterus and it’s ability to expand. However that test he doesn’t really perform very often and he wasn’t sure if he was reading the results properly. He said that my perinatologist would be in touch with me this week to discuss the results. However he said that I should hear from him Wednesday or Thursday of this week. So I still have a bit of a wait.

In the absence of answers, Tony and I have been going to Dr. Google and we can’t even find something referencing this test being used for this purpose. I have tried to find out what test they normally use for this purpose and I can’t find anything their either. However Tony has found that there is papers on women who have pelvic radiation and go on to have children and it seems that their biggest threat is because of the uterine artery and not with the ability to expand the uterus. So we are really this awful place of limbo land.

I have went through most of the phases of grief with this news. Yesterday I was devastated and now I am sort of in denial. I have felt all along that this was God’s will for me to have the next child and I don’t think God would let me down now. I know it is possible but not likely. I also remember that when I got my radiation they gave me a laundry list of side effects I could have. I had NONE other then tiredness (quite common with radiation in general). You would think if it did hit my uterus (center of the body) I would have had SOME side effects.

Other then that, Max and I both have bad colds right now. Trust me, it isn’t fun to be dealing with depression (as I was yesterday) and have a cold. However now I am at hope and that is helping me a bit. Though I really need to get some more rest for me to get over this. Max I know is sleeping more now too.

Not much else going on. Tony is painting the last closet we have yet to paint (making it so every room in the house is painted except for the basement) and so all of the things that would be in that closet are now in a box in the basement, or on Max’s spare bed in his room (where I normally would sleep if I was in there). This wouldn’t be an issue but last night we had a thunderstorm and Max, expectantly, got scared. There is no room in our room or in his so we were all up half the night. Not fun!

I am getting some more photographs and video together so I should be able to upload that soon.