The green haze of oncologists…

I don’t know if you can see it but the minivan now has a green haze on it. You can see it really well in person and like some things, getting it on film is harder. This has made me have my eyes nearly glued shut when I woke up in the morning, and is also making me cough and sneeze.

So you can imagine I didn’t have great hopes for my PET scan to come back clean from Monday. And today I went in to my oncologist’s office with my head hanging low, and not expecting a very good office visit. I came out nearly in tears.

My oncologist has cleared me for going back for one of our embryos!!!

She said that my scan did show reactive (PET +) in my neck but that is consistent with a cold or allergies. She felt my neck and said that the lymph node felt inconsistent with cancer and more consistent with allergies or a cold. Lymph nodes can enlarge for a TON of reasons and only about 20 of them are cancer.

She said that now she wants to see me about every 3 months and since I am not planning on doing the transfer till August, we can do a scan of my neck in July, provided my RE (reproductive endocrinologist or froze embryo doctor) thinks it will not interfere with anything. I will see her through my pregnancy just as a precaution and I will likely get a PET scan after I deliver the baby. I am not officially out of the woods until 5 years out but this is based on an exponential curve (starts high and fades to nothing) and so I am almost statistically out of the woods at 2 years out.

My next appointments are Monday with my Perinatologist (high risk OB, who was in charge of the triplet pregnancy) and Tuesday with my RE. I imagine I can start testing right away with my RE.

Basically it is all out of my hands now. Not that it ever was in my hands, but now it really is all out of them. I know worrying will not help with implantation, and will not help with my uterus to expand with a pregnancy. So being zen is what I really need to be now.

It is hard to believe that we are finally at this point. Today was a huge milestone for us. My oncologists wants to be in contact with both of my other doctors to help them in any way she can. She says that I don’t need to see a cardiologist because my last echo was good and showed no signs of having effects from the chemo drug that could have been hard on it. However she is happy to order that test if need be. I feel like I am in good hands and with doctors I know all very well. I am going to talk with the Perinatologist next week about avoiding the one doctor that brought me down when I was in the hospital with the triplets. I need to be in a happy state as I know I have Mt. Everest to climb.

Today I was looking at Max and thinking that today is a different day for him too. I doubt that he realizes that today is the beginning of the end of him being an only (living) child. Ironically yesterday he brought up Christopher. He talks about them every now and then but I don’t think he really realizes what we mean by “brother” or “sister”. Hopefully in about a year, he will get it.

As always thank you for all the prayers!