A clean milestone…

I took this photo today because Max insists on having a fork and a knife (baby of coarse) when he eats. We do give him a bigger fork on occasion and we just “forget” the knife when we do that.

Today is my BIG day. Alexander died 5 years ago, and last year I got my official remission status. So it is a HUGE day. I think if today was January 5th, I would have turned it into a day all about Emily. She would have liked that. However because this day is about Alex, I feel it is more internal. I didn’t really talk about Alex to Max today. Maybe part of me is just not ready for that. It really is hard to believe how long has passed since my sweet boys died.

I did go to the doctor today to find out the results of my scan on Monday. I figured it would be uneventful and it was. I am cleared till December, however because of a mix up in the system I need to call tomorrow to get that changed. The paperwork said 3 months instead of 4. She is going to be on vacation for the second half of December so I need to make sure I get that appointment now. Of coarse if we end up moving this will be a mute point. That appointment is the start of getting my frozen children. Hard to believe that I might FINALLY be here with that. Assuming all is well in December I need to make the appointment for a cardiologist, and my appointment with my perinatologist. The Perinatologist I will not see until after my April scan, but I want his appointment to be as close to that scan as possible so that I can do the testing needed for my reproductive doctor before the scan a year from now. The cardiologist is just a precautionary measure on my part. I want to make sure everything is in tip top shape and that my heart can easily handle a pregnancy. The chemo could have been hard on it, though there is no evidence that I should worry, I would just feel better knowing everything is good. So likely I will see the cardiologist between my December and April scans.

By the way, I labeled this post with the “Over the rainbow baby”. This is what I am calling the next kid. I have had a rainbow baby (Max), which is what they call a baby who is born after a loss. I assume they do this because of the tears turn into a rainbow?? Anyway, there is no term for the child born after a loss and cancer. I mean I know I am rare but this is VERY rare. So I now calling the next kid my “over the rainbow” baby. What we will call the following child, I will have to figure out later, but this next kid needs a title since we are waiting so long for them.

I did request my records today from my doctor. I figure if we have to move having that will just be one less thing. Watch I will get them and we will end up staying. Ha ha!

That is all for now.
Jennifer