Happy Ash Wednesday!
Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. I meant to but got busy doing other things. Anyway, I have uploaded some pictures from when it snowed last week. Ironicly as I write this I am thinking how warm outside is now. However I know everyone loves pictures.
I was able to convince Tony that I should call the RE early. So on Monday I called the RE and we have an appointment on March 6th. It is in the afternoon so I may not post anything till the following day. We are both excited and of coarse scared about the process going forward. With that appointment set I made all the other appointments that I had been neglegting due to the fact that I didn’t want them to interfer with the RE. So I am seeing the Dermatologist tomorrow and the Eye doctor on Monday. I guess this means that we are finally getting busy!
Tony had off on Monday. A strange holiday to me for him to have off but I wasn’t going to say no and neither was he.
Okay for the strange stuff with me. Last Thursday I am convinced that Alexander wanted to have some mommy time. He was with me the whole day and I was not doing well most of it. Tony had to go to a dinner for work that night so I was left home alone for more or less the whole time that I was awake. In the evening I realized that Alex wasn’t scary and he didn’t want anything other then to be close to me. I often feel like I can talk to the children and so I started to talk to Alex. He told me that Emily is still very sad and I could feel her crying when he said this to me. I guess she is mad that she isn’t still here. I feel like Alex has taken the lead with them, though I wouldn’t be surprised if Emily fights him on that when she gets a bit stronger. At the end of the day I felt happy knowing that all Alexander wanted to do was to make sure I was okay. I am sure he will come back again and I have no doubt that I will sense Emily soon too. One more thing, that day I have things drying on a drying rack in the dining room. I have a ribbon, and a lenth of tubing for the breast pump. The ribbon and one of the tubing pieces kept falling on the floor in the days prior to last Thurdsday. I like to think that Alex was just trying to get my attention. I know all of this sounds strange but it was all very real to me.
Well that is about all the news I have for now. Talk to you all later!
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
what your describing is NOT weird or strange. Emily, Alexander and Christopher were and still are such a large part of your life and hearts that it would seem to me (someone who has not had the experiences you have) totally normal to feel them near you and to feel reactions and emotions when you talk to them. You would not seem normal if you did not have these type of feelings.
I know that during the service when my father was made an Archdeacon in the Anglican Church of Australia he felt the presence, love and support of those people he loved dearly who had passed away.
I know that my mother (who late in the pregnancies lost 4 babies out of her 9 pregnancies) has dreams or visions from God where she has been shown her children happy, healthy and loving her.
No, there is nothing strange about how you feel or what your experiencing. It is simply God letting you know that your precious little ones are safe with him and that they still love you very much.
I hope that you will feel reasured that you are perfectly normal and that I for one believe that God is empowering your precious children to aid in your grieving and healing.
God bless.
Evelyn
Jenn
I am so happy that you can feel the children with you. I love that. You are so lucky to have that experience. I am glad to hear you are doing so well.
Love ya
Julie
Dear Jennifer, thank you for sharing. I continue to pray for you and your husband. Your precious children are there and will be with you until you join them in Heaven. They love you and miss you very much. Nothing is strange about it. I thank God that you were able to recognize them and acknowledge them. How well you explained it when you said they just wanted some Mommy time. God Bless you, little mother. donna
Hi Jennifer. I think it is wonderful that you can feel your children’s presence. They are a part of you and I think your awareness of them is an answer to prayer. They can bring you a sense of peace when you know they are fine in heaven. To me it’s confirmation that God is watching over your family. Take care and have a good weekend. Rowena