I don’t think we will be doing anything more on my birthday. For me it will always be a bittersweet day. Emily was extubated on my birthday last year. While this was the best birthday present I could ever have, it now is sad because we don’t have our little girl anymore. Also before I had the children my goal was to get to my birthday to deliver them. That would have been 36 weeks.
I am sure I will get phone calls that day and I know I will be looking for the ever present frost on my birthday (90% of the years it frosts by my birthday). However that is about it.
Perhaps next year I will have something more to celebrate. This year however it is just reminding me that although I am young (31 this year), time is not on my side to have the family I always wanted… especially at the rate I am going.
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing your feelings about your birthday. I can only imagine what a hard day it will be for you. I so hope that next year you will have a special reason to celebrate.
Take care, Rowena
Hi Jennifer,
I came across your site through a link on another child’s site on Caring Bridge. I know there’s nothing I could possibly say to take any of your pain away. I know because I also lost a baby. Losing one is hard enough but to lose three, I can’t even imagine. I also had a miscarriage recently and felt the same way you described. After losing a child, nothing compares to that feeling of loss. But we will also be trying again.
I’m sorry your birthday will be a sad one. Hopefully, one day, it will bring you happiness again.
Take care…
Bridget Decker
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/williamdecker